I have stayed up all night reading my past posts on this blog. I kind of figure that before I finally move on to a new blog (which has been a transition I've been making ever since coming back from the Comic-Con it seems, actually) I should come to terms with what this particular journey has been. It's like some old warrior's adage about looking your opponent in the eyes so that you may know his soul before you slay him with a mace and a broadsword. RAR!
I've learned a lot, actually.
Probably the most important thing is that I have a ton of great friends who have given me invaluable support, encouragement and notification of typos. Truly, I am blessed to have such great friends and family. Thank you for reading and for commenting. Thanks for talking to me in real life and for hugs and for car-rides and home-cooked meals and everything else. I love you all tremendously.
Secondly, this past year has been one of incredible growth for me, and even though sometimes it has seemed impossibly hard, I am amazed when I look back and see how I have changed. When I started out this blog I had almost everything I thought I wanted. Less than a year later everything had gone to pieces -- no job, no money, no girlfriend, no church, no plans, no clue. Now, almost a year after that, I'm still standing. I've not changed as fast or as radically as I would like, and sometimes it infuriates me, but I am growing up. Sometimes I feel that being out of school has made me unproductive, but on the contrary, it has forced me to look at myself and learn who I am and where I fit in the world.
Obviously, I'm still learning. And I think I'll always be able to say that.
Here are more things I have learned from re-reading my blog:
-Some of my typos are truly atrocious.
-My emo posts have usually not been as emo as I thought they were when I was writing them.
-I will ALWAYS think I used to be funnier, wittier and more eloquent. It is most likely not actually true. Therefore, I need to accept it, suck it up, and move on.
-Sometimes, what I thought was my best writing ended up being my worst.
-Sometimes, what I thought was my worst writing ended up being the best.
-Whatever my deepest despairs and darkest worries are, someone shares them. I never knew it before, but that is one of the reasons I write.
-Continuing themes have included: pies, hats, and The Bible. Also: food, laundry and bedtimes.
-I did not talk at all about my last trip to Oregon, which is a shame, because it was great.
-It is OK to be you.
...
-I was going to write something lofty about The Muse, but frankly, that does not seem to be something she is inspiring me to write about at this time. Oh, The Muse! What a cruel mistress thou art!
And now, long after my bedtime, I will wrap this up.
