Get What You Deserve
"Don't stop until you get what you deserve."
I've heard a couple of messages like that lately, all meant to be encouragement, I'm sure. But when I hear it, I can't help but wonder . . .
What DO I deserve?
Where did that concept come from?
I guess I can understand it on day-to-day terms. If you tell me you'll pay me to mow your lawn, and I mow it, I deserve to be paid, as per our agreement. An honest question deserves and honest answer (for some reason?).
But when it comes to the general scope and direction of my life, what do I "deserve?"
I haven't made any huge contribution to this world that entitles me to any outstanding rights and privileges, so do I deserve anything just by the virtue of being a human and alive? I suppose I deserve my Natural Rights, along with everyone else, and I feel that for the most part I have them. For all the talk of rights and privacy being chipped away (and I do not doubt that this is happening) I am able to lead a rather free and easy life. Much more so, in fact, than most of my brothers and sisters across the globe. If we all deserve equal treatment, then I certainly have nothing to complain about, for most of humanity is far, far worse off than I am.
It is conceivable that doing things that are good and right might cause an individual to deserve something above and beyond his or her natural rights. "One good turn deserves another" and all that. If such criteria exist, I am not sure that I have, or ever will meet them.
But assuming I have lived a good life, or occasionally done the right thing, how much credit can I actually take for it?
My actions are all influenced by the situation I live in and the people around me. I certainly could not have done any of the good and right things I might have done without the support of loving parents and encouraging friends, so I can't see why I alone would deserve anything special for those times when I might have Done The Right Thing.
Do I even deserve to have loving parents and encouraging friends? I suppose that I might, but no more so than anybody else, and there are plenty of people who have never experienced the depth of love that I have known.
I am exceedingly fortunate.
When I look to my future and ask "what do I deserve?" I cannot help by see it as a debit, something to repay, rather than a credit that I am owed.
I already have more than I deserve. It is my desperate prayer that I will be able to provide for those who are in need, and therefore more deserving than me.
To be quite honest, I am not sure how I will do this.
xxxooo
posted by Aaron at 11:32 PM
8 Comments:
Well, to come at this from an ethical (and philosophical) point of view, since that's all I've been doing all semester:
What you deserve depends on your view of life. If you follow eudynamistic ethics (or as the ancients would call it, Virtue Ethics), then the whole point of life, the reason you do everything you do, is for happiness/to live a flourishing life.
So whether you choose to live a virtuous life or not, according to some of the smartest people who ever lived, what you deserve is happiness and a robust, flourishing life.
I know that when I say don't settle for less than you deserve it has nothing to do with works. If we live by works, we are hopelessly lost because none of us can live up to that. When I say it, I just mean don't settle for less than what will make your life seem worthwhile.
Or something.
I guess I just think of deserving as being an if/then sort of condition.
IF I loan you money, THEN I deserve to be paid back, etc.
I suppose life isn't quite like that, though. When I say that I want to be able to provide for those in need, it isn't because I want to earn back what's been given to me. That would be impossible and silly and kind of selfish. It's more that I want to help people because I know that I am in a position to do so.
I'm not sure we should ever give up, because it seems that with each goal achieved or benchmark met, the road ahead just gets longer. It could be that's how I see it since I'm only starting out, but I know it will be a long long time before I can say that I've fulfilled what I was put here to do.
True. Though I think that helping others since you are able to, and fulfilling what you were put here for are not coextensive with what you deserve. They are definitely admirable goals, but deserving seems to be something different.
I agree that deserving seems like it is if/then, but if so, then I wouldn't deserve very much. You have to take grace into consideration. I sure don't deserve to be forgiven for my transgressions, but I have been.
Funny how we (well, at least you and I) often think about how much those less fortunate deserve, but we usually forget that it goes both ways. Someone who has nothing seems to deserve a life of happiness, but it is often forgotten that, under our view, happiness is deserved by all, even by us who seem to have more than most.
Hey Aro,
Please check your myspace messages - I sent you an urgent message.
Thanks!
Hope
Hope called you Aro...that is awesome.
You bring up some great thoughts too of course! i'm learning and growing in that serving part myself.
And Grant: excellent use of the word robust! (but isn't any use of it?)
Sorry I have taken a while to respond to this -- some good points are made.
However, I disagree with the general sense that it's easier to remember that others deserve happiness and forget about obtaining it for ourselves.
I think we can agree that happiness is an emotion, and like all emotions it is fleeting. Living a whole life of happiness is impossible, unless you are heavily drugged, I suppose. You can be happy (as in pleased) in general about aspects of your life, but I don't think we can ever be fully happy. Not on this earth at least, where there is so much injustice.
I would argue that the pursuit of general happiness is quite over-rated, and indeed futile. What's that album title? "Happiness is Not a Fish that you can Catch."
I do agree that often people can look at everyone else's problems and feel that the existence of other problems in the world make their own personal problems insignificant and not worth solving. This obviously is a destructive perspective, since it's hard to help others if we can't first help ourselves. I know quite a few people who throw themselves unrelentingly at charity work, but you can tell from talking to them for just five minutes that they are obviously running from something inside themselves.
I believe that doing good for others shouldn't be something we feel obligated to, but should be a natural out-pouring of our Christian faith. God has blessed me far more than I deserve or could ever earn. Keeping that grace just to myself seems to be an insincere way to recieve it -- therefore I desire to share it with others, to make it even more complete.
Or something?
Further, I look to Christ, who gave up everything so that we might know true happiness. If being Christian means following Christ as fully as possible, how can our lives be oriented towards achieveing as much robust happiness as possible?
Unless happiness comes through suffering and giving up of one's self, that is . . .
and, you know, it might.
Well, what is meant in eudaimonistic (that's how you spell it, I butchered it before) ethics isn't about living a life of complete happiness. Or being happy all the time. In fact, it's very likely a different view of happiness than you are thinking. By happiness, Arostotle and the others were referring to living a life of the greatest good. Not some hedonistic life centered on pleasure or obtaining a perpetual smile on your face.
The whole point of the theory is understanding the basis for why we do what we do. Why are you working? To make money. Why do you want to make money? So I can live. Why do you want to live? In order to _______. Why do you want to do that? etc etc etc and it all, under this view, goes back to the desire that God has put in us to live a full and complete life.
This is really a huge topic that won't fit in your comment box. If you got to wickipedia and look up nicomachian ethics you can read ALL about it and understand what I'm trying to say.
"Why are you working? To make money. Why do you want to make money? So I can live. "
I did not realize that I was working to keep you alive, but . . . well, I'm just doing what needs to be done!
I think I mostly understand your point -- I was pretty sure in writing my response that it would come down to a question of how we define happiness anyway. It's like "love" -- some words just have so many meanings that they shouldn't be used in discussions without being strictly defined!
Anyway, I'm not even sure what I was specifically responding to. This is a big discussion, obviously.
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